Friday, 1 July 2011

Shut Up and Drive......

I've not had a good week so far. So, dear reader, prepare yourself for a bit of a rant.

For anyone new to this blog, I'm a milkman. This means delivering milk (and various goods) to customers. It has good points (exercise, fresh air, independence), and bad ones (getting up at stupid o'clock in the morning, DOGS). Generally, I enjoy it. And it keeps me out of mischief. The only formal qualification needed is a driving licence; other than that, a reasonable amount of common sense will do nicely.

For the past two weeks I've had someone new to train. Not just new to the round, but completely new to the job. So last week Dan (that's his name), just did as he was told, and learned to use the computer. He seemed to have no trouble with this, so this week I let him drive.

                                     This is a Transit. It aint the QE2.........

Oh dear. It's not that difficult is it? It's only a Transit, and it drives just like a car. A little bigger, granted, but apart from that, dead easy. So why does he insist on trying to dump me in the hedge at regular intervals? Being summer (allegedly), I have the window open, so I'm frequently showered with bits of hedge, and whatever else is lurking in the hedgerows. Also, driving too close to the edge of the road, means that you find all the drain covers and potholes. So I get shaken up a bit, and my *cough* friendly advice has made no difference so far. Dan also has a habit of clipping the kerb with the rear wheels; one day he will do this once too often, and dump the empty bottles in the road. And when he does, gentle reader, guess who'll have to clear it all up?

Yesterday wasn't good. After trying to reverse up a driveway, and revving the engine VERY hard, we had to put up with the smell of a burning clutch for a couple of hours. Oh, and he nodded off, while travelling at 50mph along a busy road. I had to grab the wheel, and steer us back onto the right side of the road. Today was pretty much the same, he managed to clip a gate post and reverse into a street lamp. Although he hit the light hard, (it was still shaking when I got out to take a look), I think it must be his lucky day as there was no damage to vehicle or light. Perhaps he should buy a lottery ticket......

So what am I to do? I've tried to be encouraging and constructive so far, but my patience is wearing thin. And he seems to be a genuinely likeable lad (early twenties at a guess). So I hope that as he gets more used to it, that things will improve. Any suggestions?

Oh, and let's hope that he doesn't read blogs!


  1. How did he ever manage to pass his driving test?

  2. Martin H. - I've not dared ask Martin. What if he replies, "Driving test - what driving test?"

  3. You can tell it's not the QE2, mainly due to the dirt above the water line! Or are you just being green and conserving water?

  4. MizzKay - Green, yes that's it. We don't wash it, just wait 'till it rains!
    Actually, it's not my van, just a picture I nicked off the web.

  5. I think you are very brave travelling with him at all....perhaps you should have been a driving instructor? You would at least have had dual controls!

  6. I'm still laughing at "stupid o'clock in the morning"!
    Hopefully he will figure it out?

  7. Hi - it's Dan here, commenting from Fran's blog (she's a friend of mine). Are you saying I'm thick?

  8. Frances - My patience is shot to bits, I don't know how driving instructors cope....

    Joan - I hope so. All he has to do is listen!

    Fran - Hi Dan. Thick - no, lunatic - yes!


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